I just read through this amazing ladies post and thought I'd share it. It really struck home with me in more ways than one, mostly the part of parenting by shame. How well I know it's sting and I strive to eliminate it from effecting my own parenting.
All I can say more is to affirm that shaming a child will never have good results. I could say so much about its effects but I would rather you read her insight and not have my ramblings distract from it. Just remember, if you ever intentionally shame your child, you are driving them away from you. They will retreat, and loose their respect and trust in you.
She is an excellent photographer as well, which always catches my eye.
Long Post [such an original title]. | resolved2worship on Xanga
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Pesticide
I don't even remember where I first read about doing this but I did see another version of it recently. It's so easy and you don't have to worry about chemicals, getting it on your skin or breathing it in.
I have garlics growing so I dug one up, sliced it into hot water and let it soak over night.
The other ingredients you can add for more kick are, slices of onion and any form of hot pepper. I just used chili powder since I don't have any other pepper on hand.
Strain out the "debris", put in a spray bottle and use.
The main thing I use it on is my roses. They get covered in aphids to the point that the rose bud is almost white, and gross! I sprayed this stuff on liberally and within a day or two nearly all of them are gone!
As it is with any natural, organic thing, it takes a little more work, a little more patience! Rain will wash it off, sometimes you have to spray more often and you can't just pick it off a shelf, take it home and use. But it really works!
What it won't work on that I've read it will, is to keep city raccoons out of your garden OR your chicks!!! I dumped out the debris all around my chicks cage and that night, even before it was dark, we lost a chick to that evil coon! So I figure that these city rascals are quite immune to strong scent! They were also digging in my garden after it was sprayed. But I haven't had any rabbits now that I think of it. When we first moved here there were a few rabbits that would run through the yard. Either this works or my chasing them a block down the street did the trick! Yeah, I'm not a very good city chick...
I have garlics growing so I dug one up, sliced it into hot water and let it soak over night.
The other ingredients you can add for more kick are, slices of onion and any form of hot pepper. I just used chili powder since I don't have any other pepper on hand.
Strain out the "debris", put in a spray bottle and use.
The main thing I use it on is my roses. They get covered in aphids to the point that the rose bud is almost white, and gross! I sprayed this stuff on liberally and within a day or two nearly all of them are gone!
As it is with any natural, organic thing, it takes a little more work, a little more patience! Rain will wash it off, sometimes you have to spray more often and you can't just pick it off a shelf, take it home and use. But it really works!
What it won't work on that I've read it will, is to keep city raccoons out of your garden OR your chicks!!! I dumped out the debris all around my chicks cage and that night, even before it was dark, we lost a chick to that evil coon! So I figure that these city rascals are quite immune to strong scent! They were also digging in my garden after it was sprayed. But I haven't had any rabbits now that I think of it. When we first moved here there were a few rabbits that would run through the yard. Either this works or my chasing them a block down the street did the trick! Yeah, I'm not a very good city chick...
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
On Husbands
Recently several of my friends and I have been asking our husbands questions. Real life changing questions. OK, so not that serious but for me, I do feel like it has changed my daily life perspective and priorities.
Here is the first question to ask, word it how you wish, this is how I worded mine:
"If the entire Big House Estate was in a state of chaos, and the mistress had time to rectify one thing, what would you hope it to be?"
I sent it in a text on a day in which there was literally EVERYTHING to do and ALL things were in a mess so I knew if he had eyes before he left for work, there was no room in the house in perfect order. Even the yard needed to be mowed, the van was dirty inside and out, the church wasn't cleaned yet...he had a lot to choose from.
The hilarious response was, "Shave your legs". I nearly doubled over laughing! Of all things he would say was, "shave your legs". After a few texts of establishing that he was thinking the entire acreage, not just knees down, of "legs", I proceeded to take a shower and do just that.
Upon arriving home, he was lounging on the couch so I sat beside him. It wasn't long before the subject came up. When I told him, that yes, I did indeed go shave my legs (understand that I'm one of those that finds shaving to be too time consuming to bother on a daily basis) for him, he started to laugh. "You knew I was joking didn't you?!"
WHAT??? I went to all that bother just for him to be joking??? Well, fine, I now had smooth silky HAIRLESS, legs for...nothing.
After we had a good laugh over it I told him that I really did mean what I asked and would really like a serious answer! Took a little for him to figure out what I was driving at so finally I came up with saying it a little different. I told him that I had one hour in which I could clean up SOMETHING, and he has to chose what that something is. FINALLY I had my answer: laundry-not only washed but put away too!; a clean kitchen; and clean bathrooms.
After I told my other friends of this little dialog and how I shaved my legs instead of doing laundry, they decided it was a good idea to not only ask about the surroundings but what about ourselves would our husbands like to have changed, improved or perhaps consistently done. Well, seems I already have my answer, unless he tells me again that it's only a joke!
Its been so fun getting the answers from the guys. Often, we are surprised what really actually bothers them. A few answers are: keep one sink empty of dishes (can wash his hands), nice looking yard, clean vehicle, uncluttered entryway, don't just pin up your bangs, shave your legs, look a little less conservative.
I challenge every married woman to ask her husband these questions. I have found new purpose to cleaning my bathrooms! I have a motive of love in doing these tasks that makes them a lot less painful and even fun. The first couple days I was so sick of washing dishes since I don't have a dishwasher and Belle is still too little to really wash without help. But I had a great motivator and I stuck to it. I still feel like I spend too much time in the kitchen but I just remember that I've changed my priorities and now, I do things for Nev, not for me.
A lot of other things don't get done that I would "normally" do but I now have a new "normal" and am slowly getting accustomed to it.
I will add that I've done a lot of things "by the book" up until now. You know, you read all those great books on marriage and I seem to always read to have the toys picked up and the house always neat and tidy when the husband gets home. Well, what if the toys don't bother MY husband??? I was actually getting a little exhausted trying to do things that don't matter to him. He is quiet and won't complain about anything so to get out of him what he really likes is a trick in its self. So when I was told about this specific way of finding out, I jumped all over it! I waited for the right time and had to ask several times, in different ways, to effectively communicate what I was after.
Books are great, but my husband is not a cookie from a cookie cutter. I have no idea how many times I have followed a book and found that it only aggravated the situation. I gave up. The only book that works is the Bible and waiting on God to give me words and wisdom, sometimes through hearing of a good question to ask!
So, what will your husband say? I would love to hear more answers! We've had good laughs and good times doing this. Might I add, don't ask if you don't intend to do as you are told!
Here is the first question to ask, word it how you wish, this is how I worded mine:
"If the entire Big House Estate was in a state of chaos, and the mistress had time to rectify one thing, what would you hope it to be?"
I sent it in a text on a day in which there was literally EVERYTHING to do and ALL things were in a mess so I knew if he had eyes before he left for work, there was no room in the house in perfect order. Even the yard needed to be mowed, the van was dirty inside and out, the church wasn't cleaned yet...he had a lot to choose from.
The hilarious response was, "Shave your legs". I nearly doubled over laughing! Of all things he would say was, "shave your legs". After a few texts of establishing that he was thinking the entire acreage, not just knees down, of "legs", I proceeded to take a shower and do just that.
Upon arriving home, he was lounging on the couch so I sat beside him. It wasn't long before the subject came up. When I told him, that yes, I did indeed go shave my legs (understand that I'm one of those that finds shaving to be too time consuming to bother on a daily basis) for him, he started to laugh. "You knew I was joking didn't you?!"
WHAT??? I went to all that bother just for him to be joking??? Well, fine, I now had smooth silky HAIRLESS, legs for...nothing.
After we had a good laugh over it I told him that I really did mean what I asked and would really like a serious answer! Took a little for him to figure out what I was driving at so finally I came up with saying it a little different. I told him that I had one hour in which I could clean up SOMETHING, and he has to chose what that something is. FINALLY I had my answer: laundry-not only washed but put away too!; a clean kitchen; and clean bathrooms.
After I told my other friends of this little dialog and how I shaved my legs instead of doing laundry, they decided it was a good idea to not only ask about the surroundings but what about ourselves would our husbands like to have changed, improved or perhaps consistently done. Well, seems I already have my answer, unless he tells me again that it's only a joke!
Its been so fun getting the answers from the guys. Often, we are surprised what really actually bothers them. A few answers are: keep one sink empty of dishes (can wash his hands), nice looking yard, clean vehicle, uncluttered entryway, don't just pin up your bangs, shave your legs, look a little less conservative.
I challenge every married woman to ask her husband these questions. I have found new purpose to cleaning my bathrooms! I have a motive of love in doing these tasks that makes them a lot less painful and even fun. The first couple days I was so sick of washing dishes since I don't have a dishwasher and Belle is still too little to really wash without help. But I had a great motivator and I stuck to it. I still feel like I spend too much time in the kitchen but I just remember that I've changed my priorities and now, I do things for Nev, not for me.
A lot of other things don't get done that I would "normally" do but I now have a new "normal" and am slowly getting accustomed to it.
I will add that I've done a lot of things "by the book" up until now. You know, you read all those great books on marriage and I seem to always read to have the toys picked up and the house always neat and tidy when the husband gets home. Well, what if the toys don't bother MY husband??? I was actually getting a little exhausted trying to do things that don't matter to him. He is quiet and won't complain about anything so to get out of him what he really likes is a trick in its self. So when I was told about this specific way of finding out, I jumped all over it! I waited for the right time and had to ask several times, in different ways, to effectively communicate what I was after.
Books are great, but my husband is not a cookie from a cookie cutter. I have no idea how many times I have followed a book and found that it only aggravated the situation. I gave up. The only book that works is the Bible and waiting on God to give me words and wisdom, sometimes through hearing of a good question to ask!
So, what will your husband say? I would love to hear more answers! We've had good laughs and good times doing this. Might I add, don't ask if you don't intend to do as you are told!
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